With Mothers day just around the corner my husband keeps asking me what I want for mothers day. Diamond earrings flash through my head but in my heart my answer is always the same. My mom.
My mom lost her battle to breast cancer 8 years ago. She never saw me married, she never met my now husband, she never saw me pregnant and she never got to hold her grandchildren. It’s thinking of those milestone moments that make me miss her more than anything. Even though I am a grown adult with children, there are times when I still desperately want her to hold me just so I can smell her special scent. I still want to hear her voice tell me she is proud of me and I would love to shop till I drop with her by my side (because that was our thing). That is what I want for mothers day.
Instead on this Mothers Day, I will look at my beautiful daughters face as she tells me she wont share her dark chocolate. I cant blame her my mom wouldn’t either. I will give my daughter a thick slice of bread with butter and watch how she gobbles it up, because its her favorite snack just like my mother. I will watch when strangers approach and all of a sudden my bubbly girl gets shy just like my mother. And I will beam with pride as my daughter sings her heart out to her favorite song because she is confident just like my mother.
There is no replacement for your mother. There is no way for that empty space in your heart to be filled. On Mothers Day when I miss her terribly I try to think of what my mom would say to me. She would say “Don’t be sad, your smile is too pretty. It’s time to celebrate you now because your a mom”. This Mothers Day when the sadness comes creeping in, I will smile, embrace my sweet memories of my mother and I will hug my children so tight because I am incredibly fortunate to have them.
Dear Motherless Moms you are not alone. Your mother will be with you every day in your children’s faces, actions and in your memories. Happy Mothers Day to all moms. You are very special!